Thursday, January 26, 2017

Dilwale Dulhaniya le aaye , now what ?

So Baauji let Simran live her Zindagi and since Raj didn’t know that there’s chain that stops the train, poor Simran had to run with her 10 kilo ka lehenga to hold Raj’s hand to be able to get inside the train. Saath Phera happened followed by wild sex. Now they are living in the grand mansion that actually belongs to Raj’s father.

Simran- We are done with vacations, relatives, Khana peena, just look at me I am already 7 kgs heavier now what?

Raj- Yeah you look so fat

Simran- Alright, if I look so fat then what made you fly continents for me ?

Raj: Please don’t start again. I am already upset.

Simran: Now what happened to you ?

Raj:  When I got all emo to my dad and said ‘Me apni poori jawaani jee chuka, my dad got double emo and packed me off to Europe. I skipped the last date to apply for re-examination and now all my friends are graduate and have amazing start ups and I feel like a loser.

Simran:  Wait, what are you talking about?

Raj: I flunked my final exams, actually I was the only one in the entire University who flunked.

Simran: Ahh great, no wonder my dad hates you !

Raj:  Is that man Kuljeet graduate ?

Simran: Where did that come from ? And to answer your question , YES, he is.

Raj: Okay, I even skipped the last date for Delhi University distant learning graduation programme.

Simran: Forget that, my dad dragged me to India and didn’t even let me complete my education. All my friends are graduate and now pursuing post graduation and interning at great places.

Raj: Yeah I remember your hot friend Sheena.
Simran: I remember how shamelessly you flirted with her and I also remember how you dropped me on the floor after the song ended making me look like a fool in that sexy blue backless dress and how dare you play prank and throw water on me on next day ? That was so sexist


Raj: Now don’t be a feminist and if I am that bad why did you fall for me?

Simran: Ahh the stupid idea of love. Undekha Anjaana aane laga khayaalo me and all. Besides Bollywood always told me that if a man is being mean to you, he is in love with you.

Raj: What do you wanna say ?

Simran: Before that Europe trip, my life was basically ghar se college and college se ghar, you know my dad.

Raj: I can imagine

Simran: So yeah, you were the only guy I got close to and that night when I got drunk and woke up wearing your clothes, you made me feel that you have done a huge huge favour on me by not having sex with me while I was shit drunk.

Raj: Because Ek Bhartiya ladki ki izzat kya hoti hai me acchi tarah se jaanta hoon

Simran: And what if I was white? Do you understand the meaning of consent? Being drunk doesn’t mean yes. I was so stupid, I actually bought your crap !

Raj: You are being very mean now, do you want to say you don’t even love me now?

Simran: I do but now I think I am evolved, I know it does sound cliche but I do want to complete my studies, work and make friends and have new experiences.

Raj: True, I also need to re write my exams and join my dad’s office or maybe think of a start up.

Simran: Also, let’s use condoms for some years. 

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